don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
