So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
