Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
