I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
