You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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