What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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