Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
There are leaves in my underwear?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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