these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
