So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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