I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
