You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
