If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
