I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Farmville is her only friend.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
should my penis look like a turkey
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
