im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
