i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
