none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I enjoy the company of your penis
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