they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
