You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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