i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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