So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
