took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
