Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
