And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
