I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize