He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize