D3 body, D1 cock
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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