he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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