How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
