I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
