This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
