Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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