I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
