i already hear my dad disowning me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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