If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
