he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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