She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
