Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
