After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
