He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
