I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
