No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize