new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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