buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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