I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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