Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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