sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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