At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Acid is not a monday night drug
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
