More tranny stories later!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
