yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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