How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
