Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize