Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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