Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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