I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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