i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you traded sex for a burrito?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
