Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
