I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
