We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
