There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
