My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
